Patan

The more time I spend here, the more I experience the emotional rollercoaster between hope and despair. On one hand, I meet amazing people (both Nepali and foreign) who are working to save the environment, the women and the children of this country. But on the other hand are facts, stories and images evoking hopelessness and futility.

By all accounts, the government is incredibly corrupt. Like everywhere else, as money buys power, power breeds greed, egotism and fear. Only a small portion of foreign aid ever makes it into needy hands, and in spite of the literally thousands of aid organizations in Nepal, many who are involved see more harm than good being done, even with the best of intentions.

I've made many new friends in my time here- Nepali teachers and counselors, a Canadian therapist, a Tibetan artisan, a Kashmiri shopkeeper- and they all have stories to tell about what they have experienced: their fears and hopes; what they see as the biggest problems and possible solutions. As a Westerner and outsider it is difficult to take it all in, and harder still to stay detached and sort out my own opinion.

So for now, I side with Gretchen, an art therapist from Vancouver who is in Nepal for one month training the Nepal House staff and other interested teachers. Over dinner one night we discussed this rollercoaster. Even as she was speaking, I wished a recorder was running; my best effort will still do her comment and sentiment injustice. "Even if I can give a little bit of hope, a little bit of love. If I can be a resource to one person to help, it's worth it."

As you hear so often in these conversations, "slowwwly, slowwwly..."

With a grateful heart,

jill